As I stood in my kitchen today preparing lunch for my brood, my brain started doing what it likes to do best - analyze everything about my life and figure out how to do it better. Last week my son developed a MRSA infection. If you've never dealt with this, let me just say that MRSA is a curse straight from Pandora's box. In the flurry of worry, wound cleaning, house sterilizing, immune boosting, and everything else, it’s no wonder that my ability to function “correctly” suffered. And it did.
Last week I had my fair share of negative thoughts about myself creep in. “Are you REALLY doing the right thing to treat this infection?” “How could you have missed THREE scheduled client sessions? Is this how you plan to run your business?” “What do you mean you quit your new workout program after just two days?” Ever notice how much easier it is to fall back into these negative patterns when our guard is down and our energy is low? I’m not immune to this either.
BUT… In the midst of it all, I also recognized some things I’ve never really realized before. We all have a limited amount of energy in any given day, and for healthy people this energy is just slightly more than what we need. Just enough to get everything done with just a tad to spare. Years ago, when I was in the midst of healing from emotional trauma and physical weakness, I didn’t have energy to spare. Oh, I kept going all day every day, but the ability to actually do anything more than SURVIVE was beyond me at the time. If this is you, don’t despair. I’ve been there and it can and will get better! Years ago my week would have looked like this - Stress over the situation would have worn me out so normal tasks would have gone left undone. I'd have beat myself up for not keeping up, making me more anxious and depressed. Out of guilt I’d pull myself up by my bootstraps and keep working harder and harder until I crashed. Cycle, rinse, repeat. Then when the fiasco was finally over it would take me a week or more to recover. Which only fed the negative thought patterns, stress, and guilt related crash sessions. Yikes! No wonder I was only surviving!
So what about this last week? How was it any different than my “surviving” days from before? I had a certain expectation that THIS TIME I could just keep pushing on my goals regardless of my worry over my kid. I mean, I’ve come so far and found so much more energy and healing. Why couldn’t I just KEEP UP? Because, dear one, I wasn’t meant to. And neither are you. Here’s where some of my revelation came in. Remember how I said we normally have just a tad more energy than we need? I don’t know about you, but taking care of a sick kiddo definitely doesn’t fall under the category of a “low energy” task. It’s mentally stressful. It’s emotionally draining. It’s physically demanding. This didn’t just take a little bit out of me, it took A LOT. We are creatures of limited resources, so of COURSE I wasn’t able to get the rest of life “done”.
Today as I stood at my kitchen counter and made lunch, I felt refreshed knowing that dealing with this particular plot twist in my life didn’t suck enough energy to keep me down for a week. A day of rest, and I’m back up and running (almost literally… you should see the laundry piles I’m tackling around here).
Accepting my limitations as NORMAL and forgiving myself for the areas I feel I’ve failed has made a night and day difference in my ability to bounce back when life throws me a curve ball like this. Because here’s the thing: Life is ALWAYS going to throw you a curve ball. Big ones, little ones. There’s never going to be smooth sailing in life. How you deal with it makes all the difference, and for me that starts with self-acceptance. Beginning to accept myself was a key factor in learning to count my successes. And this became a key factor in beginning to enjoy the mundane things that helped me grow stronger and moved the needle forward in my life. It was also key in being able to redirect resources in a way that was most productive for the moment. I can’t write blog posts when I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I can’t work out when I am physically tired from extra deep cleaning. And I can’t constantly beat myself up and expect positive results to come out of it. This is why people in abusive relationships don’t tend to be high achievers.
So here’s what was different, and what I want to encourage you with, dear one. Last week was hard, but in the middle of it I accepted myself. I actually gave myself CREDIT for the work I was DOING rather than focusing (too much) on beating myself up for the work I was missing. Deep clearning is NOT a chore we do often around here. I don’t wash walls and sanitize and mop on a daily basis. Doing these things is hard work. Doing them multiple times over many days is tiring. I re-prioritized, while doing my best to balance the fine line between giving just a little more and depleting myself completely. And it worked. The process of accepting my limitations, counting my wins, re-prioritzing, and taking a needed day of rest are all huge pieces of how I was able to bounce back a day later, rather than a week later. Over time I HAVE become stronger, and it showed in the ways I was able to show up while treating my son’s infection. Maybe my next curve ball will have me doing an even better job keeping up with normal life.
Most of us bounce back at some point. Learning to reduce the rebound time is everything. And maybe, just maybe, it starts with a little self-acceptance.
Practical application: 1. Breathe. Slow down. Take a good long look at all the things you ARE doing and give yourself credit for your wins. No skimping on this one! Really FEEL pride in your accomplishments, even if it’s as small as brushing your teeth or even getting out of bed in the first place.
2. Accept yourself for who you are RIGHT NOW. The energy you have RIGHT NOW. The emotional strength you have RIGHT NOW. Not what you think you SHOULD have or do or be. This is part of recognizing the resources you have at your disposal. 3. Recognize how/where your current curve ball is eating up more energy than “normal” life. Are there areas you can re-prioritize? Maybe parts of your curve ball don’t need to be handled RIGHT NOW. Maybe you can focus on only the most important parts of your “normal” workload. What’s the most effective use of your energy today?
4. MAKE time to really rest and rejuvenate.
Often rest is an ACTIVE decision to do NOTHING (just ask any athlete who’s ever had to heal from an injury!). Unplug from social media if it’s too negative. Give yourself permission to have a nap, or do 15 minutes of meditation while lying down. Read a book. Drink your favorite soothing beverage. Go for a walk. Do the big and little things YOU need to do to find actual rest and rejuvenation.
So now what? If you currently feel “stuck” in your life and this post resonated with you, I’d like to offer my services as a mentor, health coach, and Emotion Code practitioner. It’s easy to simplify our lives down to about 1,800 words when you write a blog post, but untying the very real knot in your life so all the strands lay smooth can be much easier said than done. My approach is holistic and client led - unlocking and releasing trapped emotions, healing the body, and creating new habits that strengthen the mind based one what YOU are ready for. In my experience this is the fastest approach to healing and moving forward towards success! It allows us to pinpoint the things that are holding you back so that forward progress can continue. If you’d like to know more, please book a consultation session with me today!
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